Sunday, November 15, 2015

Always Keep Fighting

Dear Jared Padalecki,

For my readers. 
One of the many shirts you can purchase. 
Find more information at his official 
Facebook account: Click Me!
Before I dive into personal stuff, I must say that I'm a huge fan of Supernatural. In the beginning my episodes were completely out of order; the first one I ever saw was Ghostfacers a few years after it first aired. It wasn't until Kevin Tran came along that I tried to watch more consecutively, but life got in the way, and I didn't see those episodes until the next season came out. And then I met Netflix. I got all caught up and anxiously waited for new Winchester adventures.

For as many episodes that I have seen, I have a feeling that are a few seasons that I have not seen. And as much as I love Supernatural, and the way that you and Jensen portray Sam and Dean, this is not why I'm writing to you, on my blog of all places.

I'm writing you to say thank you for creating the Always Keep Fighting campaign. I've been through some things in my life and I always look forward to the words of courage that you write, or things that are motivational.

What I've been through can't compare to others, but in their own way, they're just as horrible.

When I was in fifth grade (2005-2006), I went to a restaurant with my parents and while I was there I had a panic attack. I wasn't fazed by it because I'd had them before. Or so I thought. It's highly possible that this was my first one. But this one even escalated quickly.

Because my panic attack was related to food, they kept happening, and soon I was having one giant attack that never seemed to go away. I didn't want to eat anything and I hid it from my friends; they just wouldn't have got it. The whole ordeal eventually stopped, but not before it went on for several months. I never kept track of anything, but I assume that I had lost weight, all because of the fear I had of what would happen to me if I ate food. More on that subject here.

I've had very little attacks since then, which I'm grateful for, but if one ever happens, I know what to do and I don't freak out as much. I still hate them, but I can handle them better.

By the time I got to middle school, I realized that everyone's emotions and energy that was around and floating in the air got pulled into me and I'd end up feeling weak, exhausted, and sick. Which resulted in me not wanting to eat lunch for that day.

That happened only a few times, and again in high school, but what made it worse was that a friend of mine asked if I was anorexic. At first I was angry. And then I wanted to cry. For one human being to say something like that to another human being is inexcusable. Hearing that comment made me upset but I didn't turn myself into what others said about me.

Other people probably aren't so lucky.

Which is nothing against them at all. The world is filled with people that say cruel things to others, and that is not how life should be lived.

I hope that by sharing my battles, as you've done with yours, I can let people know that it's okay to have struggled, as long as you always keep fighting.

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