Thursday, November 19, 2015

Breaking Up

When relationships come to an end, the emotions can be wildly swinging. So I turned my feelings into a poem. All events portrayed were/are true.

A Heart Breaks
July 29th, 2015
Age: 19

A heart breaks when the magic words are said less and less,
and your thoughts become a jumbled mess;
when you feel lonely and separated in the same room,
and the dark thoughts start to loom.

A heart breaks when you have thoughts of him cheating,
the moment is ever so fleeting;
you wonder if what he tells you is still true,
and your love for him can still feel shiny and new.

A heart breaks when you have to ask for a kiss,
when the way he acts is no longer in bliss;
you feel like you’re losing control,
and marrying him is no longer a goal.

A heart breaks when you realize it’s time to go,
and your heart’s light is just a dim glow;
when being with him weighs you down,
and your face is always in a frown.

A heart breaks when he doesn’t try and win you back,
and your fa├žade starts to crumble and crack;
you hate to leave but it’s the best thing to do,
and you’ll learn from all that you went through.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Always Keep Fighting

Dear Jared Padalecki,

For my readers. 
One of the many shirts you can purchase. 
Find more information at his official 
Facebook account: Click Me!
Before I dive into personal stuff, I must say that I'm a huge fan of Supernatural. In the beginning my episodes were completely out of order; the first one I ever saw was Ghostfacers a few years after it first aired. It wasn't until Kevin Tran came along that I tried to watch more consecutively, but life got in the way, and I didn't see those episodes until the next season came out. And then I met Netflix. I got all caught up and anxiously waited for new Winchester adventures.

For as many episodes that I have seen, I have a feeling that are a few seasons that I have not seen. And as much as I love Supernatural, and the way that you and Jensen portray Sam and Dean, this is not why I'm writing to you, on my blog of all places.

I'm writing you to say thank you for creating the Always Keep Fighting campaign. I've been through some things in my life and I always look forward to the words of courage that you write, or things that are motivational.

What I've been through can't compare to others, but in their own way, they're just as horrible.

When I was in fifth grade (2005-2006), I went to a restaurant with my parents and while I was there I had a panic attack. I wasn't fazed by it because I'd had them before. Or so I thought. It's highly possible that this was my first one. But this one even escalated quickly.

Because my panic attack was related to food, they kept happening, and soon I was having one giant attack that never seemed to go away. I didn't want to eat anything and I hid it from my friends; they just wouldn't have got it. The whole ordeal eventually stopped, but not before it went on for several months. I never kept track of anything, but I assume that I had lost weight, all because of the fear I had of what would happen to me if I ate food. More on that subject here.

I've had very little attacks since then, which I'm grateful for, but if one ever happens, I know what to do and I don't freak out as much. I still hate them, but I can handle them better.

By the time I got to middle school, I realized that everyone's emotions and energy that was around and floating in the air got pulled into me and I'd end up feeling weak, exhausted, and sick. Which resulted in me not wanting to eat lunch for that day.

That happened only a few times, and again in high school, but what made it worse was that a friend of mine asked if I was anorexic. At first I was angry. And then I wanted to cry. For one human being to say something like that to another human being is inexcusable. Hearing that comment made me upset but I didn't turn myself into what others said about me.

Other people probably aren't so lucky.

Which is nothing against them at all. The world is filled with people that say cruel things to others, and that is not how life should be lived.

I hope that by sharing my battles, as you've done with yours, I can let people know that it's okay to have struggled, as long as you always keep fighting.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

How to Become a Time Lord's Companion

I started this in April of 2014 for my Creative Writing class at my school but I lost track of time and didn't finish it until just today actually. Enjoy!

Live in the United Kingdom. Go through your day working a boring job in a life that isn't very exciting. Meet an interesting man.

You learn that he's an alien with two hearts, flies around in a police box spaceship called a TARDIS, and is very lonely. You marvel at how the TARDIS is bigger on the inside. His name is the Doctor. He's a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey; the last of his kind. And he owns a sonic screwdriver.

You start to fancy him. An infatuation really. Go with him in his TARDIS and fly around for a bit. Go see different planets and weird looking people. Land on the moon and see a Judoon platoon.

Did the Doctor mention that he can travel in all of time and space? Did he mention that you can’t cross your own timeline, you can’t interfere with the past, and that he couldn’t meet any of his former selves? It’s happened before and it will happen again, whether he says it can’t or not.

He calls you his companion and it makes you smile. You think that your life has finally gotten exciting. It most certainly has. But you almost die. First with the Daleks. Then with the Cybermen. Then with the Weeping Angels. The list goes on. Because you're with the Doctor, your life is in constant danger because of all his enemies.

You do a lot of running from anything and everything. Especially if you hear four knocks that are unrecognizable. You realize he can get very angry at the Universe sometimes and that some people would call him dangerous. But you don't care.

He once became your imaginary friend and you’ve fixed his bow-tie. In all your travels with the Doctor, you never once felt threatened by him. You’ve nearly died numerous times. But you wouldn't have it any other way.