My New Normal: Living in a Virus Pandemic
About 3 weeks ago the creator of Introvert, Dear put out a call to group members to share their stories about what it's like being an introvert in quarantine during this pandemic. Mine hasn't been looked at yet, and I don't know if it will get picked at all, but I thought I'd share it here too. Because I wrote it on March 18th, some of the data points have changed between then and now. You can join the introvert group on Facebook here. I would also like to apologize for how the format/layout of this looks. I copied and pasted from a Google doc and it doesn't quite look the same on each paragraph.
To alleviate our sudden lack of income, we have started to sell some of our unused things on Facebook’s Marketplace, including some of my own handmade artwork. It is tough scrounging and asking strangers for a little bit of money here and there, but I choose to look at it this way: We are healthy right now, we still have a home and food, and we are doing the best we can, even if we will get on each other’s nerves. I know for a fact that we will, and that is something that we will have to navigate in these coming weeks or months. I am so lucky to have the family that I do, because we all support each other, we are all in this together, and we will make it to the other side. But for those who do not have good support systems, or were already below the poverty line before all this happened, will be having a much harder time just trying to make it to the next day. I have seen so many stories on social media about people not being able to find distilled water for their CPAP machines or moms not being able to find formula or diapers for their kids. I am not a parent or a teacher so I personally do not have these worries, but that does not mean that they do not exist. I cannot say when this will be over, and I do not think anyone else can either. But what I can tell you is that if you have something that will take your mind off of what is going on, do it. Go for a walk, color, cross-stitch, or organize that infamous junk drawer that is in homes all over the world. We all need to take care of ourselves, but we also have to take care of each other in any way that we can.
"I live in Washington State, where up until a few days ago, had the most cases of the big C out of any other state. I have been an introvert for my whole life, but I did not have a word for it until I was about 12; I am 24 now. When I was in college, it felt pretty similar to how things are going now: I woke up, ate, went to school, and came back home to my campus apartment. I watched Netflix whenever I was not doing homework and rarely spoke to my roommates. And it was the greatest thing ever; I loved being alone and could have holed up in my little room for long periods of time, only going out for groceries or other important tasks. Now I replace school with volunteering and it is essentially the same thing. Except for one giant difference. The anxiety.
I have had anxiety for a long time now and the only anxious moments at school were big tests or preparing for finals. Even after graduation, the anxiety was always there, but not shoved in my face. Now it is. And unfortunately for me, my anxiety seems tied to my stomach and bowels so any large deviation from my regular anxiousness sends my gut into overdrive and I am repeatedly going to visit the bathroom. Yay. It only lasts a few days though, thank goodness! I know this should probably be listed under “TMI” but this is one of my personal truths about stress and anxiety. The other is stress sweat. I already have hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) in my armpits and added stress is not making this easier. It is embarrassing and it makes me flustered when around people, knowing that my armpits are having a pool party and I cannot do anything to stop it.
Ever since the quarantines and varying levels of social distancing started due to Corona, the introvert in me did not really notice any difference to my “old” life, but the anxiety in me did. Every mention of the word added another tick mark to my previously low anxiety meter. Schools and other places were shutting down and people were panic buying toilet paper and other supplies that needed to go to everybody, not just a select few. I am not a believer in the apocalypse or armageddon or anything like that, but what the nation is going through certainly feels that way right now. To combat my rising anxiety, I have been going on walks around the neighborhood to soak up the sun and get fresh air and coloring in books drawn by Johanna Basford and it has helped tremendously. If any extrovert or non-anxious introvert is reading this, and has never felt this much, or any, anxiety or stress until now, please know that this is how life is all the time for people that do have anxiety disorders and that sometimes it feels like there is no end in sight.
Despite treating my anxiety with nature and coloring, there is a bigger worry in my household and probably is for others as well. Money. I do not have a job yet and live at home with my parents. We are pet sitters through Rover and it is our main income. With our clients cancelling their own trips, we lose money. It is not any one person’s fault, nobody enjoys it, and there are families out there worse off than mine. My mom also goes to my gramma’s house twice a week to bring her groceries and do cleaning tasks and gets a little money from that, but it is not enough to replace the lost money from the Rover clients. My gramma is also one of those high-risk people; she has Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) and is on oxygen. If she were to get sick with even a small cold would be difficult, but the Corona even more so. To place “what ifs” on her health does not do any good for anyone’s sanity, but it is hard to stop my brain from turning sometimes.
To alleviate our sudden lack of income, we have started to sell some of our unused things on Facebook’s Marketplace, including some of my own handmade artwork. It is tough scrounging and asking strangers for a little bit of money here and there, but I choose to look at it this way: We are healthy right now, we still have a home and food, and we are doing the best we can, even if we will get on each other’s nerves. I know for a fact that we will, and that is something that we will have to navigate in these coming weeks or months. I am so lucky to have the family that I do, because we all support each other, we are all in this together, and we will make it to the other side. But for those who do not have good support systems, or were already below the poverty line before all this happened, will be having a much harder time just trying to make it to the next day. I have seen so many stories on social media about people not being able to find distilled water for their CPAP machines or moms not being able to find formula or diapers for their kids. I am not a parent or a teacher so I personally do not have these worries, but that does not mean that they do not exist. I cannot say when this will be over, and I do not think anyone else can either. But what I can tell you is that if you have something that will take your mind off of what is going on, do it. Go for a walk, color, cross-stitch, or organize that infamous junk drawer that is in homes all over the world. We all need to take care of ourselves, but we also have to take care of each other in any way that we can.
"
Comments